In last month‟s poem, “Song of Zazen”, you read Shodo Harada‟s explanation of one aspect of Buddha Nature ….. having a “mirror mind”, and being mindful. Because we are all essentially Buddhas, we can all awaken to this true mind. This is why we must remind ourselves to be mindful ….. be aware of every thing we think, and do, each and every moment, with gratitude for the life we have today.

We are what we think.

All that we are arises with our thoughts.

With our thoughts, we make our world.

~ Buddha ~

This month we will continue Shodo Harada‟s explanation of “Song of Zazen” and two other aspects of Buddha Nature … giving 100% (Dana), and being 100% responsible.

The concept of Dana is familiar to us …a kind word, a friendly smile, a helpful deed, a gift. All performed with zip, zero, nothing expected in turn. We do not offer something to society in hopes of getting some compensation, like money, a favor, or, for personal ulterior motives. If our offering is made with a clear, pure state of mind, their joy, becomes our joy. Isn‟t that so?

What is being 100% responsible? It is, “the buck stops here”. Pick an important relationship you have. Let's use that relationship as an example. You take 100% responsibility for the success of the relationship, and expect nothing in return…..like a mother caring for her baby. And like Dana, their joy will become our joy. Shodo Harada says, “In this, there is the mystery of life, and humanity‟s true original value.

The gate of the oneness of cause and effect Is hereby opened.

~ Hakuin Genji ~

100% responsibility is not the attitude most of us have for our relationships. Most of us think “equal sharing of responsibility … 50/50”. According to Buddhism, that definitely does not work. At what point is 50%?

“OK …I did my 50%.”

“No, no, no … I think you have 12% more to go.”

Last month I watched the Little League World Series on TV. Each boy takes 100% responsibility to do his best. 50/50 wouldn‟t work for the team. A fly ball is hit between left and center filed. The boys run to catch the ball. The boys stop when they get to the halfway point. Would that happen? Of course not. Both fielders would run 100% to get to the ball … each and every time.

One time one opportunity.

~ Zen Saying ~

Al Ritter wrote a book titled, “The 100/0 Principle”. He says most of us react automatically, or judgmentally, to

events or people. Sound familiar … like lacking mindfulness?

“The 100/0 Principle Paradox: when you take authentic responsibility for a relationship, more often than not, the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well. Consequently, the 100/0 relationship quickly transforms into something approaching 100/100. When that occurs, true breakthroughs happen for the individuals involved, their teams, their organizations, and their families.”

Yes, we each have times of kindness, forgiveness, compassion. But living it 100% is what separates the mindful, from those who are not. Ritter said we need to be persistent even when others do not respond in kind.

In another book, a psychologist writes of an experience while working in a residential facility for developmentally disabled children. Part of his job was to transfer children who needed more intensive care, to other facilities. What astonished him was the tearful reaction of the caregivers when the children were transferred.

Some children were so low functioning that they could not control the drool from their mouths. The children seemed to have very little to give the caregivers. In fact, the caregivers‟ impressions could have ranged from compassion to indifference, or to repulsion and disgust. Yet the caregivers loved the children.

How can that be? It appeared that the adults “managed” their feelings. The caregivers‟ interactions with the children were self generated. Rather than acting automatically, they were mindful of their thoughts and actions. They took 100% responsibility and purposely acted with kindness, caring, love, and compassion. The caregivers did not react to the external influences of the children in front of them.

Human happiness and human satisfaction must ultimately come from within oneself.

~ Dalai Lama ~

The psychologist found that by acting in a mindful, compassionate way, three things occurred. “First, the caregivers liked the kind of people they were when they were caring for the children. This increased their self-respect. Secondly, as caregivers, they liked who they were when they were with the children; therefore, they liked the children. Thirdly, any likeable qualities in the children would have been amplified by the respectful, kind, and loving care the caregivers provided.”

How you think about others, affects your actions and feelings toward them. In fact, aren‟t thoughts, feelings, and actions interrelated? How I feel about a person affects my thought and actions. How I act toward a person affects my thoughts and feelings toward him or her.

Many years ago, I decided to dislike a person because he was a disrespectful jerk, in my egotistical opinion (not very mindful, eh?). Since he is a distant relative, he is present at a few family functions. I was cordial, but avoided being near him. If I knew we were going to be at the same event, all the days before the occasion would be unpleasant days for me … like sailing a boat in wind whipped seas (just thinking about it makes me nauseous). Fortunately, we rarely saw each other. But what a waste … anxious and dreading for days and days.

The feeling of disliking someone was unpleasant, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. It sucked the joy out of my days. I got tired of causing my own unhappiness.

One day I decided to let the past go and pretend I was meeting a new person. I practiced the actions in my mind beforehand. When we next saw each other I greeted him with a hug, smiled a lot, and made a point to talk to him several times. Intentional and fake, super friendly is how I describe my actions. Phony? Maybe, initially. Very soon though, those practiced, fake actions became real. My thoughts and feelings began to match my actions. And guess what? He now seems more respectful.