No one really likes going to funerals. It is a sad occasion, whether you know the deceased or not. In the past two years as president of OCBC, I attended many funerals. At first, I went as one of my responsibilities, to represent the church at funerals of members who wanted an oshoko representative. Somewhere along the way, my outlook on funerals transformed from being a responsibility, to being an honor to pay my respects to the deceased and their families, and having gratitude for the opportunity to receive a valuable Dharma teaching.

Take nothing for granted because things are not always what they seem.

~ LeMoyne Snyder ~

When the Sensei is giving the message, the way we listen to the message is very important. Our whole being needs to be open and listening to receive the message. Am I reading the program, or making a “to-do list” in my mind while the Sensei speaks? Our minds also need to empty……. not full of our judgements and “what we already know”.

The problem isn’t with what we don’t know.The problem is with what we do know that isn’t so.

~ Will Rogers ~

The Latin quote below, is in a TV show, “Body of Proof”, with Dana Delany as a female medical examiner. It is above the door in her exam room. The quote under it is a line spoken by one of the characters after reading the quote.

This is where death rejoices to teach the living.

~ Latin Proverb ~

“Every person has something to teach, and we never stop learning.”

While his mother was alive, Dennis Okada (my buddy who keeps me laughing) learned something from her, which he shared with all of us in the OCBC office. His mother used to say, “Futon wa ishi ni kakerarezu.” Loosely translated it means: It is too late to put a comforter on a grave stone. Dennis said his mother used the saying as a reminder to be good to your parents now. It will be too late after they are dead. Dennis remembers his mother’s words to this day, and I believe they are a part of who he is…..kind to everyone. Her teaching continues to live in Dennis, long after her death. She must be rejoicing.

You are like a candle. Imagine you are sending light out all around you. All your words, thoughts and actions are going in many directions. If you say something kind, your kind words go in many directions, and you yourself go with them. We are ...transforming and continuing in a different form at every moment.

~ Thich Nhat Hanh ~

What lessons were you taught as a child which guide your life today? What words have you uttered, what actions have you demonstrated, that will remain in the minds of those around you?

The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change. So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding and love.

~ Jennifer Edwards ~

A good friend of mine, Nancy Ohama, is always happy and smiling. She attributes her outlook on the loving, caring, thoughtful grandparents and family, who raised her after the passing of her mother when she was two years old

As a teacher, Nancy has amassed quite a library of children’s books which she shares with me. One of the books is, “A Snowman Named Just Bob” by Mark Kimball Moulton. One of Bob’s messages is, “Friendship is a simple thing. The clue is just to start. As long as it is built on trust, and love from in your heart.”

We will be known forever by the tracks we leave.

~ American Indian Proverb ~

Bob became a talking friend to the family and friends who created and nurtured him into the Snowman form. Of course, when the sun and warm weather appeared, Bob melted away and his physical body was no longer to be seen. What a great example of impermanence. One of the valuable lessons we receive at a funeral, if our mind and body are open and present.

If one does not remember death, one does not remember Dharma.

~ Lama Zopa Rinpoche ~

Before Bob melted, he thanked family and friends for giving him form and life, for giving him a scarf, coat, and hat to keep him warm (my Bob is wearing Hideo’s golf hat), and for caring for him with thoughtful and tender hearts. Bob wished the snow would keep coming down so he could continue to share their loving friendship, but he knew it would get warm. If he was missed, Bob said to just put up a sign in the yard that reads: “Bob was here.”

If we are not empty, we become a block of matter.

We cannot breathe, we cannot think.

To be empty means to be alive,

to breathe in and to breathe out.

We cannot be alive if we are not empty.

Emptiness is impermanence, it is change.

We should not complain about impermanence,

because without impermanence, nothing is possible.

~ Thich Nhat Han ~